Foam-ily

Essay Contest 4th Place – Cerva Tarason

We are morally obligated to love those we are born next to. Brothers and sisters, moms and dads; These are incredibly powerful relationships of circumstance. It is an unfortunate fact of the world that not everyone is born with the same circumstances. Family can have a myriad of meanings depending on one’s own circumstances. Maybe it’s the cornerstone of your upbringing, the pillar of your virtue. “Mama raised me right.” as we say in the south. To some, their ‘family’ is a viciously cruel mirror of the world around them. I won’t go into detail there. Defining family is difficult for me, but if I had to choose a definition; Family is solidarity. A solidarity that we choose, water and watch grow. Foam fighting has given me a family.

My Dagorhir family extends beyond symbols, clothing, colors and other such microcosms within our community. My foam family are those who plucked me off the streets of Jacksonville, for a night, or a week, or indefinitely. Those who taught me, fighting, crafting or about life at large. Those who pushed me, constantly, believing in me more than I could. Those I taught, those I believed in more than they could, who have made me so proud. Those I’ve shared a drink or a story around the campfires. Those I’ve clashed within the tournament ring, and then spent hours discussing our theories on combat. In a confusing and harsh world, I have my foam family.

“For someone who has never had much of anything, I now have something I wouldn’t trade for everything.”

Families create life. It is an expected outcome. But creating life, much like family has different meanings to different folk. I posit for you a crossroad:

Along one path, self-ruination and solitude, along the other, belonging. It’s easy to look at that from a distance and say “I’ll know the right path when I see it.” But when you have felt so lost for so long, and the light is dim, the signs are worn and unreadable, the choices are unclear.

Maybe it’s someone who has walked the path before or someone who can simply see it a little better, but when you get a good shove down the correct path, you have been given life. A different you has emerged. And this is how my foam family has given me life. There is a very short list of people that I feel I “owe my life to.” Without going into too much detail and going over an entire life’s story: Gorg, Ramoen, Aiden, Alator. Four names of people who helped me through these crossroads, whether it was by opening their home, giving sage advice or simply being present when I needed them. 4 extra lives I’ve been given.

For someone who has never had much of anything, I now have something I wouldn’t trade for everything.

Foam-ily.

See all of the Essay Contest winners here.